Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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