I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
