we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
