Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
