Barsexuality is the new black.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
