I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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