hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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