dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
