i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Enjoy the penises
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
