u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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