are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
