he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
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