you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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