she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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