is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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