As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
