ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize