just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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