Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
