I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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