The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
