She said her name was "party"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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