My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
