I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
