If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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