too bad you live with your parents still
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
