hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
