wake up i wanna do it froggy style
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
