Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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