After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
