the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
