he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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