at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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