he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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