i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize