Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
