I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
