Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
