at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
