ugly people sure do ruin things
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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