This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
