u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
