the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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