Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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