If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
