you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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