god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Congratulations! We have a period
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