I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
