ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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