Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
