I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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