Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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