Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
