I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize