I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
