we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
