We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
