I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
