no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize