he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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