So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
