If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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