I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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