i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
