Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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