So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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