Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
