what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
