my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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