I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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