Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
